The Cautionary Tale

Thursday's class always yields one or more very interesting Japan-facts. Here is a story one of my students told about an affair her friend's husband had. It could easily be an American story... except the end part.

Her friend's husband recently passed away after a brief illness. After he died, she went through his phone and e-mails and found hundreds of messages to his lover. She found receipts for love hotels and gifts. We're talking thousands of dollars. It also turns out, his lover was at the hospital every day, all day, constantly holding his hand (except, of course, for when his wife visited too).

His lover was his secretary, and they'd been having an affair for fifteen years. FIFTEEN YEARS.

The wife was absolutely stunned. She decided to forgo the traditional grave and have him burned to ash instead.

Here's the interesting part: my student said that her friend had decided not to sue the lover because the woman is smart, and might counter-sue.

My first question was, "for real?"

My second question was, "on what grounds would the wife sue the lover?" After I'd explained what "on what grounds" meant, she explained that it was basically alienation of affection.

My third question, "is it common to sue for that?"

EVERY woman in the room nodded. The men looked uncomfortable.

The suit might only be for a few hundred dollars, but it's more about that old Japanese institution, saving face (and revenge).

They were surprised that this isn't common in America. After a little Googling, I gathered that the type of suit they're describing is only legal in a handful of states. For a country so obsessed with litigation, you think we'd be doing this more often.

I then asked how the lover would counter-sue. I never got a good answer for that. My student only said that the other woman was very, very smart.

The whole conversation was full of cultural differences that ended up as confused looks.

I guess some people take their problems to Springer, and some people take them to court.