Lock-up Restaurant- aka: a meal in jail

When Blake asked if I'd like to go to a jail-themed restaurant, I did not picture something like this:

We went with a friend from the squadron and his Japanese girlfriend. Shinjuku is a crazy busy part of Tokyo and I am positive that unless you speak Japanese, your chances of locating this place are zero. It's on the 6th and 7th floor, above a drugstore.

We stepped off the elevator and it was dark. Like, someone forgot to pay the jail's electricity bill or something. Izumi and I looked at each other. The looks of two people who do not like to be scared, and have learned to be paranoid. This place was majorly creepy.

The hostess won't let you in until you put your hand in a little guillotine. Don't worry, they don't take off your hand! I know, you were worried there for a second, huh?

The hostess was dressed as a policewoman. And by policewoman, I mean "who is the groom and where should I set my boombox?" kind of policewoman.

The above vampire gave us our first sign that the jail-themed restaurant was more of a jail-ish theme. Blake got handcuffed to the stripper hostess and she led us down a poorly lit set of stairs to our table. Blake told me later that all he could think about was what would happen to the girl if he gave the chain one good, solid yank. Such a gentleman.

Now, I'm going to be honest here, it's pretty hokey. For example, the walls were basic black that someone had taken a sponge treatment to with a color that was very reminiscent of a number two. Blake and I sat under a velvet painting of the guy straight out of the Goosebumps TV show (remember that one? I don't, because I was waaay to chicken to watch it). The jail bars that keep you in your booth, however, are rusty, metal and very heavy. The waitress doesn't actually lock the doors, but the sliding sound of the metal bars is very distinctly "jail," or at least, that's what it sounds like in the movies.

They serve tasty drinks in beakers, with syringes, sometimes with eyedroppers, pop rocks and dry ice. Like I said, it was dark in there so these pictures are less than HQ.

Oreo and Kahlua

Pop Rock laced cotton candy with passion fruit and mango

So dinner is going along well. We ordered a "Russian Roulette" plate. Five potato croquettes, one of which has a habanero pepper inside of it. Sheer dumb luck that Izumi got it, who is the only one of us who doesn't care for spicy things. The food was good. The spicy chicken was really excellent.

And then, there was a jailbreak. Finally, we all saw why people go out of their way to come here. The lights went out and strobe lights started going crazy. We started hearing the cell doors opening and shutting in other parts of the restaurant. There were announcements in Japanese, but Izumi was too busy keeping guard to translate them for us.

I was sitting on the outside of the booth. A choice I immediately regretted. The wait staff donned scary masks and went around rattling doors, sticking their heads inside booths and generally trying to scare the bejesus out of people. It wouldn't normally be scary, but the strobe lights and bass-heavy music made it a little more high-energy. Then they played ABBA's "Dancing Queen," which was actually very much like a horror movie and made the whole thing much, much eerier.

The mayhem went on for what felt like forever. I sat at the door they opened the most, which was a blessing and a curse. Obviously, I had to keep watch like a hawk because they would come around the corner with no prior warning. It was a blessing because they stuck their heads in and basically past me so I didn't have to really look at any of them. One guy dressed in black did manage to catch me off guard though and yes, I screamed like a girl.

The scariest part? There was a lull in the escaped madmen and someone squeezed my shoulder. I screamed, jumped, and it turned out to be Blake. That man really knows how to take advantage of a weakness. You all may remember how he has scared me several times with a Mr. Bean mask his sister sent him for Christmas. Listen, when I don't have my glasses on, everyone looks like a stranger.

When it was over, I had headache that was as much from tension as it was from the metal bars clanging. I was tense the entire rest of the meal. Logically, they weren't going to do another "floor show" so soon after the last one, and they can't go around scaring people who might choke on their food. Still, my body would not abandon its vigil and I was glad to get out of there.

It's the kind of thing that adults can appreciate, but it will scare the crap out of a six-year-old. I'm more of a six-year-old than an adult when it comes to this kind of thing, but I am very glad we went. Octopus sashimi, test tubes of alcohol, characters in masks, and jail bars with Dracula are, surprisingly, a very Japanese experience.