Stuck in Christmasville

Was the Migayase Tree Lighting trip truly a beautiful, cheery, Christmas wonderland... or were we all victims of Stockholm Syndrome?


Five hours is an excessive amount of time for looking at Christmas lights. And when I think a Christmas light show is running long, then you know it must be ridiculous. I mean, when we lived in New York, I used to drag Blake to Wonderland of Lights in Utica every year, an event usually only awe-inspiring to the under ten crowd. You got to stay in your car, tune in your radio to their Christmas station and crawl your car down the pathway, marveling at all the pretty, shiny things.

Every year, the same conversation:
Me: Isn't this beautiful?
Blake: It's wonderful.

I know that everyone reading this can hear his sarcasm as clear as the bells of St. Mary's (extra points if you know the Christmas connection to that reference, and also, that movie is so SAD, geez it's sad).

This year, I dragged Blake to the tiny Japanese town of Miyagase, where they do Christmas the right way. The little park, with its food stalls and restaurants, was lit up with displays. No, actually, that's not correct. When we got there, everything was switched off.

We arrived at three o'clock. Those of you familiar with reality may realize that even in the winter, it's still light out at three. So, we scoped out the food. There were a lot of good smells and we snacked along the way. You can only walk past a crepe stand so many times before you need to get one... even if you technically didn't even walk by it, you just saw it and made a beeline for the order window.

We passed the time until dark by listening to the musicians they had playing. Really, really good stuff. You've heard of hand bell choirs? Well, we saw a cow bell choir. I won't even say that it needed more cowbell. These ladies were awesome.

There was also a steel drum band. Because, as Blake said, nothing says Christmas like Japanese people playing Caribbean music with a fog machine. They were amazing though.

Finally, it was dark. All the lights went on, and it was beautiful. The biggest Christmas tree lighting in Japan, a tree almost 100ft tall.

That winding path to the right is a narrow suspension bridge, the whole thing lit up from start to finish.

We paid our 300yen (each) and started the long, colorful walk to the other side. As soon as we got on, the whole thing rocked back and forth, which I knew was the very thing that makes suspension bridges safe... but that was my head. My guts were telling me that this bridge was the pedestrian-only version of the Titanic and we power-walked the first half of the way (or 150yen worth (each)).

Once I calmed down, the walk was lovely, if a bit cold up there. Blake didn't have gloves, so he was a little cold. I had a hand warmer, sort of, but only for my left hand. It was a turkey leg. Oh, I didn't tell you about that? Let me start by saying this: I've always thought peppermint was a more appropriate flavor for Christmas than tripe, a statement I still stand by.

A long line of people were at this little soup stand. Naturally, we queued up. I pointed to one huge tub of soup and Blake pointed to the other. Blake got a wonderful mix of vegetables and broth, everything cooked just right, and perfect for warming him up. At this point we were all freezing our various body parts off. I got.. well... I didn't know what it was at first. It smelled a little gamey, but I can never read the menus, so I was used to taking what I could get. I deserve it for not learning to read the language.

I ate it. Tasted weird. Very weird. I inspected it, only to discover it was tube-shaped. Huh. And wrinkly. Huh. And.. OH MY GOD I was eating poop chute. Tripe always looks so exotic and exciting when someone on the Travel Channel is wolfing it down. Well, these intestines were gross. A complete snack fail.

So, I went and got a smoked turkey leg, which was delicious. It was also huge. I could not finish that thing. I sheathed the remainder in a paper bag and stuck it in my pocket to snack on later. I stuck my hand in my pocket when it got cold and voila! hand warmer. I think I could make a killing on these. I mean, they taste amazing and hold heat incredibly well.

When we got done with the bridge and had walked back to the little village there were still two hours left. We were at a loss. We'd seen everything about five times. We were trapped. So, we did the logical thing and got more crepes.

That left us with about four hours and forty-five minutes. Panic started to set in. Suddenly, the Christmas music sounded like it was mocking us. The crowds were thicker. The smells weren't so tempting any more.

So we went back to the bus. Thankfully, the doors were open and a few other people had also seen enough of the festivities. It was a little warmer in there and would have been a nice place to hibernate had it not been for the Chatty Cathy in the back.

Eventually, we did make it home. In true Jeeana fashion, my Christmas spirit (and old-person level of nostalgia) is already erasing the hours of toe-tapping boredom, replaced by the twinkling LEDs and happy Japanese children, holding bags of cotton candy whose size rivaled their own. And crepes. Those delicious crepes.

Blake, however, has sworn off MWR trips. I mean, this is his second trip, and each trip, MWR's timing has been awful (remember the Tokyo Motor Show Traffic?). Still, he's said we can go back next year... as long as we drive ourselves.

In conclusion: Merry Christmas from Japan. We have our fake tree all lit up, with real presents underneath, Christmas cookies in the kitchen, and my Scentsy Christmas smell is like Christmas Crack.

It's certainly not like Christmas back at home, but beautiful nonetheless. Miyagase was festive and cheery and everything you'd expect from a Japanese Christmas celebration. No, there was no gigantic red, white and blue American flag display to remind us of our American Christmases, but there was a Japanese equivalent.

Hello Christmas