A Tale of Unbelievable Unbelievable-ness

On Wednesdays, I teach three groups of children, back to back, three hours straight. Some nights I'm just a mouthpiece. Mrs. Tagami, the Japanese woman I teach with, will explain something in Japanese, for example, what an architect is, and I will just say the word so they can get the pronunciation correct (some hybrid of artichoke, arch-itect, and how the word is really pronounced). Some nights, I feel like I truly do teach them something, like, what lacrosse is. Turns out, it's very difficult to explain, but hey, if I can't teach the basics of lacrosse, my degree from Syracuse gets revoked.

Last night, I stumbled onto a true teaching moment. A simple misunderstanding that lead to five solid minutes of explanation and "REALLY?!" on both sides.

Gather round, and hear ye, hear ye.

NO ONE IS TEACHING THESE CHILDREN TO PUT MARSHMALLOWS IN THEIR HOT CHOCOLATE!

BAM! BAM! Double BAM!

We were looking at pictures of food and I was pronouncing the words. Mrs. Tagami was explaining it, if the picture wasn't clear enough. One of the boys pointed out the white circles in the hot chocolate and asked what it was. Mrs. Tagami explained in Japanese, with the English words, "milk" and "cream."

I was unsure of what was happening, so I very quietly (completely unbelieving of what I had just heard) interjected and asked what she was explaining. She told me that there was cream in the hot chocolate. My brain went completely blank for a second. I probably looked at the poor woman like she'd just begun spouting Portuguese.

I said, "those are marshmallows."

"Really?" She clearly did not believe me.

"You don't put marshmallows in your hot chocolate?!?!?!" Yes, all those exclamation points and question marks are necessary because I really sounded like that.

"No, do you?"

"Yes. Almost everyone in America does." I do not want to hear from you marshmallow-haters out there because you are wrong. Marshmallows are part of hot chocolate. End of story.

She then explained this culinary deliciousness to the children, who got so wide-eyed you'd think I was telling them we put marshmallows in our ears and pranced around naked. They could not conceive of marshmallows in hot chocolate. I know the Japanese palette is not geared toward the teeth-rotting sweetness we Americans are used to, but marshmallows in hot chocolate is so basic. So right. So necessary.

Imagine it: living your entire life without once seeing those little white fluffy sugar-clouds bobbing away in your hot chocolate. Never blowing them around while you're waiting for the hot chocolate to cool. Never opening a packet of instant hot chocolate and two packages of the accompanying dried-out marshmallows.

Well, children, you are in for a treat next week.